Surviving Valentine

efore you move on thinking this is one more love-lost romantic’s pathetic little write up…let me assure you that it is not. I believe in love. I have fallen in love. I know all there is to know about its existence. How can anyone not? With so much “spread the love” messages being thrust in our faces and throats day in and day out! The old adage of “one can run, but one can definitely not hide” is actually true. And this undeniable existence of love in today’s world is unreal as well.

The saint is back again. Good lord! Get over yourself! Not Claus. The other guy. The one who arrives between New Years and Christmas to remind the world that love is all around. Whatziz name….oh ya…Valentine. I don’t have a problem with this day. Not because I don’t have a girlfriend’s face to suck on all day or go berserk shopping for items I know she will hate (or love…of course we all know they fake it). In fact I have no qualms about Valentines Day whatsoever. People want to go out shopping…hey! Go ahead! People want to express their undying love to their beloved ones…please be my guest. In fact if you leave a letter in my inbox I might just send you a nice little card. And no. I am not being sarcastic at all. People who know me will vouch that I can go to any lengths when it comes to love. True love.

Then what is my write up about? It is how people start behaving once they realize they are on the “will get some tonight” list. Suddenly everyone around them is possibly the biggest loser in the world. If you do not wear pink, white or any combination of these two then you are not supposed to have the “spirit” of Valentines Day. Give me a break. I am from India for God’s sake. No one knows what the spirit of love is more than we do. Just check the world population and you will realize if it is indeed true that St. Valentine is the official messenger of love in the world then he has two residences in Bangalore and definitely one main office in Mumbai. Chances are he shoots those little cupid-sent arrows across the seven seas sitting in an outsourced little air-conditioned office. So don’t make a fool of yourself by telling me I don’t have understanding of love. It is a different thing if you want to make yourself look better in front of your girl/guy since chances are this is your only shot. So go right ahead.

The day also marks a Herculean milestone in the world economy. The day sees billions of dollars (I am so sure I am not overestimating this) being thrown around in the name of ‘expression’. Everything from giant-size teddy bears to giant-price chocolate fairs. Disney makes a killing on this day with everything under the sun being for sale. Hallmark probably gives a whole month before the event off for their employees to make up for the loss in energy levels. Every little candy store finds business and there are not enough flowers in the world to maker her/him happy. I can almost draw a cartoon on this with one newborn rose flower being told by its middle aged neighbor “Man you are screwed! It is truly a shame you will never see adulthood.”

As much as I can quote this entire essay with my ‘sense of humor’ it is true that people start behaving strangely come Valentine. While on the one hand there is so much cheer and joy, there is also an equal amount of gloom and despair. Drunks who up until the 13^th and starting the 15^th will have no love-based excuse to get hammered will see themselves turning green with booze in the name of ‘expression’.

“Why the *beep* are there so many hearts around on Valentines'?” yelled out a drunk from across the counter at a sleazy English bar to which the bartender replied “Well…because spleens would look pretty gross!”

Everyone survives this day one way or another. There is no denying that. We all can pretend that it does not matter. We all can go on oblivious of this “should be a National Holiday worldwide” special. But the fact remains that we all will face it in our ways. If some of us will find the courage to get a girl or a boy, some others will find ways to ignore the ones they already have. If some of us will cough up everything we have to please our beloved, someone else will make sure their disgust at this day is obvious. If some of us will successfully “get some” without having to beg, some others will do anything to just have a lousy little dance. As I said, we will all make it one way or the other.

So…how are you going to survive this Valentine?

ShaKri