Sunday, April 13, 2008 3 reflections

[Slice of Life] - The Journal Entry

[Slice of Life] - The Journal Entry
© ShaKri 2008

She looked around in hurried desperation. It had been weeks since she had started this inexplicably tough quest. After almost ten failed attempts at trying to get a glimpse of what she was certain was the truth, here she was again. There was nothing worse than being a thief in her house, she reflected. But she knew she had to do this. For herself, for him and more importantly for the new addition who was on his way. She squatted awkwardly with her giant belly as she continued rummaging his book case softly looking for the one thing she had wanted to see for weeks now. Her breathing intensified as her heart beat louder with each passing second. And just like that, out of nowhere – there it was. For a fleeting second she was a little surprised to have found it this time with such ease.

A gloomy cloud of mixed emotions pulled over her as she picked up the slightly worn out Eagle diary with trembling hands and an uncertain heart. This was the only window of fifteen minutes she would get each day and she was not going to let this one pass by. She could still hear him sing aloud as always in the shower and she knew, that it was when he stopped singing is when she should start wrapping things up. He was singing his favorite song that morning and had seemed happier than ever before, she reflected again.

Without another second to spare she started slowly flipping through the pages of his truth. He had been so possessive about his journal since the day they had been married but it was only during the past few weeks had she felt that he actually wanted her to go through it. He had, of course, never said it out loud but she knew. She always knew.

Her insecure fingers stopped dancing between the pages when she found the day she was looking for. The 3rd of March – the day her latest sonogram report had been picked up from the doctor’s clinic. Her eyes grew wide in fear and guilt as she found his entry for that day scribbled carelessly on the neatly printed set of lines. The one entry that would decide her fate and that of her unborn child would now be out in the open. And sure enough, her heart grew fainter as she read the following words in the handwriting she had grown to admire over the years – “I know he is not mine….but I also know I will love him anyway.”

And then the singing stopped.