Saturday, August 04, 2007

That 'F' Word

That ‘F’ Word
© 2007 / ShaKri

I STILL REMEMBER THE FROWN of uncertainty on my face when I had heard of this bizarre seeming ritual. Known for his practical jokes, I was somehow convinced that my friend was pulling a fresh one. I mean, come on, can there really be a day called ‘Friendship Day’? What does that even mean? A day set aside for a bunch of people to go ‘Oh right! I just realized we are friends so let’s go out and get something to eat. While we do that we can exchange some cards with pleasantries printed and move on with our lives.’ Yes. This is how I had imagined the day back then and in some ways I still do.

But you know what they say. Nothing remains the same for too long. This goes mostly for humans than any other living being. With time, perceptions and attitudes change – they evolve. I cannot claim that this is a universal theory but from what I have seen, it has come true. So with time my opinion about this ‘Friendship Day’ also evolved. No, I did not hop on to the next Hallmark depot and pile on a dozen cards and gifts. Instead I decided to live and let live. So what if I don’t ‘celebrate’ it. I am sure there are millions who can use this day as an excuse to be with a friend. Fair enough.

As the sun rises on yet another one of these, I find myself at a crossroad. Next year by now I would have bid farewell to my twenties and hopefully greeted that special someone who I shall vow to spend my life with. Come August 2008 I’d have probably re-designed the circle of friends I have by keeping in touch with some while letting the others go.

I don’t know.

But if there is anything this day has taught me it is this. Each year I find my circle of trust being filtered. There was a time when I was in my early twenties and I had dozens of people inside that circle. With experiences and passing seasons, I have learnt to choose. I have taught myself the hard way that knowing someone and being their friend are two completely different propositions. I guess this is why the people who now sit in my circle of trust seem so precious to me. I don’t have to call them everyday but when I do they always pick up the phone. I don’t have to tell them they are unique but when I speak they understand. I don’t have to tell them when I am sad because the moment I say ‘hello’ they say ‘what’s wrong?’

When I look back from here I smile at this grand realization. Everyone offers an ear but only some offer their heart. I hope you get to spend this day with those people since it seems like they are a dying breed.

Happy Friendship Day.


3 reflections:

MBM said...

It is Very much true that "Nothing remains the same for too long. With time, perceptions and attitudes changes".
Ok, why does one's perceptions and attitudes change? I think because the needs are changed or different as time passes by, hence the necessity of one person to another no longer remains the same.

The true friendship is realised only if the freindship remains even after all these changes. The difference between a known person and a friend is then realised.

Happy Freindship day.

shakri said...

Well said. Necessity is the mother of all evil, they say, but then it is also the mother of some beautiful relationships. Change affects the friend, but not the friendship seems like an apt expression. Despite geographical boundaries and other limitations, true friendships can exist with genuine strength if and only if, both the friends want it to. :)

Your words are much appreciated.


mouna said...

i was indifferent to the entire concept. perhaps, i still am. i does not matter, as long as my friends know that i'm grateful for the time spent in their company or for whatever they've done to me.

it's pretty obvious that filtering takes place. like mbm says. this friendship day, well, i was not feeling my upbeat self. all my friends were out of town. we couldn't even speak on the occasion :(